However, when we experience truly effective constructive feedback - it can be even more memorable and have substantive impact on our learning and success.
What sets effective constructive feedback apart?
As we discussed last time there is an element of courage involved - where the person has clearly thought it through. S/he has facts; s/he has a position; s/he listens; s/he engages you.
But perhaps the most important ingredient is the person's conviction. S/he is invested in this conversation. S/he has set aside enough time to stay on topic and approaches the meeting as an investment. An investment in your future and your relationship. While the news may not be what you want to hear; it is delivered with compassion and curiosity. There is a genuine interest in discussion, dialogue and a firm commitment to a defined conclusion.
That conclusion has several important ingredients:
- what has occurred
- what needs to occur in the future
- why is this important to both of you and to others - to the organization, peers, customers, etc.
- what will you both agree to do going forward
- what support and direction do you need
- what are the consequences - when sustained change does or does not occur
- what does success look like
- when will we review progress
- who else can be helpful along the journey
- how will setbacks be handled
- what support is available - books, models, mentors, classes, reflection (self or with others)
- how will you celebrate sucesses
- what is in it for both of you - change takes effort, so what is the reward
And, the final ingredient - s/he has you summarize the discussion and next steps. You leave owning the discussion and the next steps. You have commitment and conviction to take action.
Wow. It would be great to hear from you.
Please take a few minutes to share your stories. Think of a time when you grew because of someone's skillful constructive feedback - or when you helped someone else with skillful constructive feedback.
It is always so powerful to hear examples of success in action...
