Taking Action in Times of Doubt

Inertia.

I have talked with leaders who have moved into a new, broader role and with people who have lost their jobs and with leaders who have gotten negative reviews and with folks who are struggling through an emotional upheaval. And, I have thought about some of my most difficult times.

Once we have gotten to a better place - we've had success in the new role; we've had some interviews or landed a new job; we've successfullly rebounded from the constructive and sometimes painful feedback; we've navigated through personal loss or upheaval and regained our balance - I often hear people talk about how they experienced a low-activity time. A time when they couldn't act, didn't know what action to take - when they simply were stuck.

And, this reminds me of the Cycle of Renewal© model that is central to the teaching of the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. For more information, see their website: http://www.hudsoninstitute.com/

This elegant but not simple model helps describe the inertia that can anyone facing the situations described above. When things are going well - we are hitting on all cylanders - we are in Phase 1 or Go For It.



However, when things take a difficult turn we can move into Phase 2, The Doldrums which is defined as " a down time, a protracted sense of decline, when you're not happy with your life chapter, but you don't think you can do much about it. The Doldrums are meant to serve as a wake-up call, an invitation to restructure or reinvent your life so that it works for you once more."



How can we best react to the doldrums? What are some questions that can help us move, take a step, make a call, reach out, reflect, move on? And, how can we learn from this transition, this ending?

What has helped you through or learn from times of inertia?

• is it finding someone who will listen - just listen, not tell you what to do?
• is it journaling and sorting out your thoughts?
• is it letting go of what was - marking, celebrating, acknowledging the end?
• it is reconnecting to your core values?
• is it unearthing the most important questions to answer?
• isit thinking about how you have faced similar situations?
• is it giving yourself some space?
• is it thinking about what IS working?
• is it learning somehing new?

Many paaths - which one helps you through such times?

Hmm, it starts with me

As I have talked with people whose inner committees are working overtime, a few ideas seem to be repeated and the top rated item is: the reaction starts with us. When the inner committees' chatter nearly drowns out everything else, people report that these tips often work for them:

• creating some distance and some quiet, THEN reflection can begin
• creating space to recognize that these voices aren't necessarily right, they are just loud
• diverting attention to something else - going to a movie, for a walk, to coffee with a friend, to Yoga - allowing a new perspective that the din overshadowed
• disenfranchising the committee - taking back control from this insidious bunch
• creating a new committee - re-reading thank you notes, recognitions, replaying a time when you were at the top of your game
• asking others for ideas, new contacts with whom to network, or simply to find out how they have kept moving forward when things seemed to have stalled
• researching a topic that interests you or benefits a work in progress - this often created forward momentum and unleashes creativity
• listening to favorite tunes, ones that make you smile or dance or sing
• taking a break, giving yourself permission to do whatever it is that rejuvenates you

I am sure there are others! These are just the ones friends and colleagues have found to be powerful, positive and rejuvenating.

Some folks have said the most important thing of all is to be aware of the power we have given the committee. And that awareness allows us to silence them long enough to listen to other perspectives. And that along helps us breaks through the logjam.

Interesting...

What Does It Take To Quell Your Inner Committee?

All of us have self-doubt and times when we question our expertise, abilities and/or ideas. Unfortunately, we get some help with our self-doubt - we have our own, internal saboteurs. Some people call this negative self-talk, others refer to their negative inner committee. By any name, this is the nagging voice that asks deflating questions or makes bold, destructive comments as if they were fact:

• what makes you think you can handle this new assignment
• you could have done that project better...faster
• you never where good at math...or public speaking...or strategy or.....
• why should they listen to you...or follow you...or make this change...or...

When we are at our best, we can quell these comments. We balance the negative with an examination of what we do well, triumphs we have had, postive feedback from others and possibility thinking

• reminding ourselves we like a challenge and that we are adept at figuring things out...or skilled at finding others who have more experience to help us
• analyzing our past work and if we find an aspect that could have been better, we look for ways to learn new skills and take action
• engaging colleagues whose skills complement our development areas...or finding a mentor or coach to help us navigate...or learning more about the area
• recalling a time when we have invigorated others...or successfully implemented change

So, what happens when we aren't at our best? When we are in the doldrums? When our world has been thrown out of balance? When we have been laid off? When we don't think we can...? When the inner committee is working overtime adding more layers to our mounting doubt?

More thoughts to follow, in the meantime -- what has worked for you when times were tough?

Trusted Advisors Abound - Who Do You Turn To???

Who gives you feedback?
Whose feedback do you treasure - or, at least value because you know it is relevant, important and needed for you to grow?

Often leaders list their manager as the initial reaction to the first question, and pause to reflect on the second. Certainly, performance feedback is a manager's responsibility. And, the manager's perspective carries weight given the impact - salary, promotion, project assignment, etc.

However, have you considered who else can give you additional insights? Who sees you in action and knows your impact?
Who shares your vision and has the courage and conviction to help you see what is working well and what could be modified?

Starting with those who share your vision is a great way to encourage balanced feedback. Asking for feedback from their perspective on what is working well - and should be continued; what is not working well - and could be modified or stopped. Then listening all the way through without interruption can lead to valuable insights that you often can't have from where you stand. Asking clarifying questions to ensure that you see what they see? Powerful.

Who could you ask today?

Communication with Conviction

All of us have examples of times when we have received excellent and positive feedback from others. Those are wonderful memories.

However, when we experience truly effective constructive feedback - it can be even more memorable and have substantive impact on our learning and success.

What sets effective constructive feedback apart?

As we discussed last time there is an element of courage involved - where the person has clearly thought it through. S/he has facts; s/he has a position; s/he listens; s/he engages you.

But perhaps the most important ingredient is the person's conviction. S/he is invested in this conversation. S/he has set aside enough time to stay on topic and approaches the meeting as an investment. An investment in your future and your relationship. While the news may not be what you want to hear; it is delivered with compassion and curiosity. There is a genuine interest in discussion, dialogue and a firm commitment to a defined conclusion.

That conclusion has several important ingredients:

• what has occurred
• what needs to occur in the future
• why is this important to both of you and to others - to the organization, peers, customers, etc.
• what will you both agree to do going forward
• what support and direction do you need
• what are the consequences - when sustained change does or does not occur
• what does success look like
• when will we review progress
• who else can be helpful along the journey
• how will setbacks be handled
• what support is available - books, models, mentors, classes, reflection (self or with others)
• how will you celebrate sucesses
• what is in it for both of you - change takes effort, so what is the reward

And, the final ingredient - s/he has you summarize the discussion and next steps. You leave owning the discussion and the next steps. You have commitment and conviction to take action.

Wow. It would be great to hear from you.

Please take a few minutes to share your stories. Think of a time when you grew because of someone's skillful constructive feedback - or when you helped someone else with skillful constructive feedback.

It is always so powerful to hear examples of success in action...

Communication With Courage

Why does communication require courage? Because leaders know that others look to them for direction, for information, for feedback, for candor, for help, for strategy and for support. A tall order.

Merriam-Webster defines courage as the mental or moral strength to venture, persevere, and withstand danger, fear or difficulty.
An even taller order.

An effective leader must operate at many levels and from many perspectives simultaneously. S/he needs to set direction and describe the big picture in enough detail that others can not only see where the organization is going but how they and their work fit into that picture.

S/he also knows the gap between how things are operating now and how they will need to operate in that new desired state. Once the end result is communicated, the focus turns to the gap - what changes are necessary to move successfully toward the goal. And, what does not change.

It takes creativity and strength to paint the picture; it takes perseverence to weather the questions, the covert and overt resistance along the way.

Listening, assessing, analyzing, describing and reframing are critical communication components. Remembering these skills can be challenging anytime and exacerbated in times of change.

Courageous communication - the courage to:

• think it through
• paint the big picture with just enough detail to be inviting
• describe expectations (goals, work, relationships, results, commitments)
• repeat, reinforce and reiterate what, why, when, how, who
• celebrate wins of all sizes
• listen and consider/encourage feedback, questions, challenges, suggestions
• hold self and others accountable

A few ideas on the courage-side of communications.

Next time: Conviction - the belief and confidence side of communication

Communication with Courage and Conviction

What sets great leaders apart? In surveys where employees describe what they value most about their managers, there are common ingredients. Satisfied employees indicate that they:

• know what is expected of them
• know how they are doing
• can talk with their manager
• have a development plan
• feel appreciated
• have an opportunity to use their skills/talents on the job
• know how their job fits in to the organization's strategy

All of these ingredients require that the leader communicate clearly with each team member. And that s/he does so frequently.

To do so requires courage and conviction.

And that is the next installment...stay tuned