Giving Thanks - WaM - Pay it Forward

What a great time of year...a time to connect or reconnect with family; a time to focus on what we are thankful for; a time to appreciate the help we have received from others in our journey; a time to thank others.

This segues to thoughts of next year - what do we want 2010 to be for us and others? A great time to viualize what our success looks like in action. This is similar to the Word a Month process: seeing the success as if it were in place (present tense); relishing how it feels to have attained this goal (with emotion); actively seeing this goal, not the obstacles (daily affirmation).

I am commited to continuing the Word a Month process - and simply going deeper on my original word. It is still my most important area and my progress has encouraged me to dig a little deeper. I have even seen the negative self talk diminish - it has moved from difficult to moderate.

Starting in December, I will devote blog space to lessons I have learned from my mentors combined with tidbits from intriguing books. Hope to see you then.

'Obstacles are those frightful things we see when we take our eyes off the goal.'

- Hannah Moore

Happy Thanksgiving!

A word a month - CHECK IN

Let's try that post again!!

Since it has been about 15 days since this experiment began, it is time for a check in.

Here is what I have experienced:

EASY - to choose the word
EASY - to write the affirmation in present tense and embellish it in a positive context
MODERATE - to start the day WITH the affirmation
EASY - to recognize the positive impact of focusing on this concept even if missed a day
DIFFICULT - to avoid negative self talk when missed a day, or fell back to the old behavior
EASY - to be grateful for the improvements

And, 'grateful for the improvements' is the best part. Even with the slip ups, I have moved closer toward my desired picture. This topic remains top of mind. And, I notice the difference. How refreshing.

How did it go for you?
What was easy for you? What changes have you seen? Were there any speed bumps (moderate or difficult aspects) for you? Have you added nuances that have worked well for you?

We have 15 more days!

And, then the decision: do we stay with THIS word or consider another? And, even more basic than that, do we stay with this affirmation process?

A word a month - CHECK IN

It has been about 15 days since the experiment began.

How is it working for you?

Here is what I have experienced:

EASY - to select the word

EASY - to write the affirmation

EASY - to think about a positive application

MODERATE - to DO the affirmation each morning

EASY - to recognize

A word a month - an experiment in success

I invite you to try an experiment with me for a month or two.

Research shows that if we want to change behavior, we can. That is a positive beginning. Behavior change research further reveals that if we modify our behavior (change our actions) for at least 21 days we can develop a new habit. That sounds reasonable. And, one month seems do-able.

Currently, there is a lot of press on developing your personal brand. Define what you want to be known for and then act in accordance with those key attributes you have chosen.

Later we can talk about gathering feedback: asking others how they'd describe you - what 3 - 4 key words come to mind. Do their words match your desired brand?

However, for now, select 3 - 4 key words are important features of your brand..

Consider:
When you think about times when you performed at your very best - what attributes or values did you display? Are these a part of your desired brand?

Join me in this test:
My guess-pothesis (obviously, not a scientific undertaking) is that if I select one word to focus on for a month, I will increase my effectiveness. So, please join me in the Word a Month Club.

Here's a plan:
As Stephen Covey would say, "begin with the end in mind". After determining the 3 -4 aspects of your brand, decide

• Which attribute or value intrigues you, contributes to your succes, defines your desired personal brand, resonates for you today. Choose one.
• My chosen word is: _______________ (fill in the blank).

Put the word into a positive context:

• Think about a time when you successfully displayed it. Make it memorable. How did you feel; what were you thinking; how did others respond? See, feel and hear the positives.
• And, describe it forward - what will this attribute contribute to your future. See yourself in a future moment having exhibited the trait flawlessly.

Focus on the word with positive expectancy and appreciative reflection:

• Start each day with an affirmation about this attribute. The affirmation is in the present tense (as if it is already accomplished). Examples:. I am well-organized and complete projects with ease. I am an effective leader and encourage my team to contribute to the success of our department.
• Think about this affirmation at least one time during the day.
• End each day with a grateful heart. This is what I enjoyed (learned, liked, felt) today about focusing on _____________.

And, repeat for 30 days!

Tomorrow, I begin the process with my chosen word -- for one month. Will you join me? Let's see how it goes...

Next week - a progress report...

Getting Ready - now, there's some energy

Cocooning's focus on self-discovery sets the stage for a very fun and active quadrant in the renewal cycle: Getting Ready.

After the reflection and self-assessment time on the right half of the The Cycle of Renewal, people are ready to spring into action. It is a time of exploring, experimenting, investigating! Thinking of the possibilities to put the vision into practice. The vision may be new, revised, improved, deeper, more aligned. It often results from finding some core themes. People may: network more, take classes, change how they describe themselves, ask more questions. It is a time of energy, eagerness, optimism. A time to bring values, dreams, and passions to the fore.

I'm curious if you can look back and see times when you have visited these quadrants? And, if you can recall the positive impact that the more reflective side (Doldrums and Cocooning) had on a decision?

Or do you know someone who has just emerged from reflection and is eager to talk about what's next - with renewed vigor. Perhaps it is doing something s/he has thought about for a v-e-r-y long time. Or, finding a new way to use skills? Or, finding a new job that fits their values, or allows better balance, or includes a change that is so exciting and energizing (and, perhaps a little daunting) that you can see the enthusiasm? It can be a stretch or a nuance.

This elegant model has such a way of describing our growth, change and cycle!

What quadrant best describes you today?

Source of the Cycle of Renewal:The Cycle of Renewal© model that is central to the teaching of the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. For more information, see their website: http://www.hudsoninstitute.com/

From the Doldrums to Cocooning - the Cycle Continues

Last time, I talked about two quadrants of the Cycle of Renewal - so it is time to move to the next possible phase, Cocooning.

There are two paths from the Doldrums - where people feel out of sync. For some, they move through this time of loss and are able to gleen enough insights that they can re-design, update their personal strategy; figure out another way forward, recapture the passion and purpose and move back to Go For It - this is described as a Mini-Transition. The person reflects, changes and recharges.

However, in some situations, people continue the inner work begun in the Doldrums and dig deeper into the Cocooning phase. This phase is characterized by self-reflection, re-evaluation - of everything, low energy, a search for meaning, perhaps loneliness, grieving and ultimately healing.

It could be described as a serious case of internal Spring Cleaning. After personal reflection, the person can decide: what to hold on to; what to let go of; what to move toward and how to move forward - applying this new, deeper learning to a new direction.

Cocooning can be a powerful time with a grand pay off: determining or refreshing passion and purpose. And, with that good work, move into the Getting Ready phase. More on that next time...

Job transitions always include at least a trip through the Doldrums. And, for some a time of Cocooning is essential before emerging into the world of possibilities and regaining the excitement of what is next.

For those who are supporting friends or family members who have lost their jobs and are now out there searching for what's next...you can probably recognize these phases.

There isn't a formula for job transitions. There isn't a timeline. And it is not always a straight path.


A freind whose job was eliminated said:

"This job transition wouldn't be so difficult if I just knew what date I'd have a new job. Then I could relax and enjoy the time with my family."

Hmm, that isn't how change works, is it?

What have you seen?
If you have personally experienced , or if you have helped others who are experiencing or have experienced the Doldrums or Cocooning let us know:

What was it like? What helped, hindered?

Source of the Cycle of Renewal:
The Cycle of Renewal© model that is central to the teaching of the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. For more information, see their website: http://www.hudsoninstitute.com/

Taking Action in Times of Doubt

Inertia.

I have talked with leaders who have moved into a new, broader role and with people who have lost their jobs and with leaders who have gotten negative reviews and with folks who are struggling through an emotional upheaval. And, I have thought about some of my most difficult times.

Once we have gotten to a better place - we've had success in the new role; we've had some interviews or landed a new job; we've successfullly rebounded from the constructive and sometimes painful feedback; we've navigated through personal loss or upheaval and regained our balance - I often hear people talk about how they experienced a low-activity time. A time when they couldn't act, didn't know what action to take - when they simply were stuck.

And, this reminds me of the Cycle of Renewal© model that is central to the teaching of the Hudson Institute of Santa Barbara. For more information, see their website: http://www.hudsoninstitute.com/

This elegant but not simple model helps describe the inertia that can anyone facing the situations described above. When things are going well - we are hitting on all cylanders - we are in Phase 1 or Go For It.



However, when things take a difficult turn we can move into Phase 2, The Doldrums which is defined as " a down time, a protracted sense of decline, when you're not happy with your life chapter, but you don't think you can do much about it. The Doldrums are meant to serve as a wake-up call, an invitation to restructure or reinvent your life so that it works for you once more."



How can we best react to the doldrums? What are some questions that can help us move, take a step, make a call, reach out, reflect, move on? And, how can we learn from this transition, this ending?

What has helped you through or learn from times of inertia?

• is it finding someone who will listen - just listen, not tell you what to do?
• is it journaling and sorting out your thoughts?
• is it letting go of what was - marking, celebrating, acknowledging the end?
• it is reconnecting to your core values?
• is it unearthing the most important questions to answer?
• isit thinking about how you have faced similar situations?
• is it giving yourself some space?
• is it thinking about what IS working?
• is it learning somehing new?

Many paaths - which one helps you through such times?