Sunday, July 11, 2010

(The Sacred Parentheses)

(it happens here)

In writing, we are taught to use a parenthesis to signal "an amplifying or explanatory word or phrase".

In verbal communications, I think of parentheses conversations as ones that don't just amplify or explain the sender's meaning, but as rare instances of profound connection.  It is as if talking within the parentheses allows us to step out of time, push the pause button and be with another person.

In these prized and reveletory moments, we share so much about ourselves:

  • how we feel about the situation without facade or pretense

  • additional background about our life experiences that  exposes our position, reaction, confusion, fear or doubt

  • how this topic connects to another event, situation, belief, person and impacts our stance in a deep way

  • what we are struggling with, where we are vulnerable, where we are stuck 

Inside the sacred space of the parentheses, you can step away from everthing that clamors for your time, energy, mindshare... and connect...and reflect...and learn. 

When you have this connection with someone, it is special.  And, both of you know it.  It is a powerful gift.  I have experienced these moments with trusted friends, family, colleagues, mentors, and clients.  And, sometimes with new acquaintances.   

What an extraordinary gift! 
Priceless - literally and figuratively.

Questions to ponder:
  • When do these conversational parentheses occur?
  • Why are they so illuminating?
  • What have you learned from them?

Friday, May 14, 2010

Enthusiasm, Engagement, Excitement

When employees talk about the best leader they have ever worked for, they often talk about the enthusiasm and excitement the person brought to the job, to the team.  And, close on the heals of those comments, employees talk about engagement - from three perspectives.  How engaged the leader was in the individual's success.  How engaged the leader was in the team's success.  And, how much the leader was engaged personally.  That the leader's personal enthusiasm was not only contagious - but that it kept everyone in the game, in the moment, and dedicated.  These leaders delivered and everyone was a part of the success story.

Gustavo Dudamel
If you ever need a great example of enthusiasm in action, check out any of the You Tube videos of Gustavo Dudamel.  In the last week, I have heard an interview with him on NPR and have seen a video of him during a leadership presentation.  He, obviously, was the example of leading with passion.

He is the Conductor of the L.A. Philharmonic and not yet 30 years old.  Here are some excerpts from the October 8, 2009 NPR article: Dudamel Leads L.A. Philharmonic In Concert
...Dudamel is a toddler compared with his colleagues at major orchestras around the world. But that doesn't mean he lacks experience. Dudamel started conducting at age 12; he was playing in a kids orchestra and picked up the baton one afternoon when the director arrived late for a rehearsal. And at 18, he became the music director of the Simon Bolivar Youth Orchestra — the top ensemble in Venezuela's "El Sistema" network of more than 125 youth orchestras...
...Before Dudamel landed the L.A. Philharmonic job, orchestra president Deborah Borda followed him around for two years and watched him work with orchestras across Europe

"Really, it wasn't a risk," she says about hiring Dudamel. "What does a conductor do? He must seduce the orchestra, he must inspire the orchestra, he must lead and convince the orchestra." Those are things, Borda says, that Dudamel does with ease.



His story is amazing and his passion for his work is undeniable. 




 
When you watch him conducting, whether with the L.A. Philharmonic or the high school musicians from Venezuela, you see how he invites musicians to play flawlessly and to have fun - individually, together, and with him.  What a powerful and enjoyable combination.

Sunday, April 18, 2010

Energizing Meeting - Part 1

"Presence is a state of awareness, in the moment, characterized by the felt experience of timelessness, connectedness, and a larger truth" - Doug Silsbee
How often are we truly present with our coworkers, customers, managers, team? 

Being present with others is a gift. When we listen without thinking of other things, we can be an observer - of ourselves, our racing thoughts, our assumptions, our distractions - dispel the intervening thoughts and be in the moment. 

And, we can be a better observer of the other person - gaining a clearer context of his/her point of view, assumptions, values, questions. 

Our focus is sharper, our questions more insightful, our partnership much stronger. 

Doug spoke at a conference I attended recently.  He invited us to be present.  And, it has been on my mind - a lot! 

Think of what a gift being present is to ourselves and others.  It is going to take more practice for me to 'be' rather than to 'do'. However, it is a gift to be present.


Saturday, April 3, 2010

Point and Click

On a recent visit to New York City, I noticed a very simple act of kindness over and over again.  Families, couples, friends from all nations and backgrounds would gather for pictures.  To ensure that the whole group was in the moment, one of two things would happen.  Someone would come up and offer to take the picture. Or, a member of the group would approach a stranger and ask him or her to take it.

Not a big deal - this happens all of the time. 

However, these strangers bonded in the moment.  No language barriers, no bickering about the other's political beliefs.  Just laughter as everyone posed and the photographer figured out the new camera - often taking another 'insurance shot'.  Then the subjects gathered around see the picture. These encounters ended with smiles, thanks, nods, waves.  Brief, fun, open, joyous.

IMAGINE

Sunday, March 21, 2010

En-guage-ment


"Employee engagement is a complex equation that reflects each individual’s unique, personal relationship with work."
- From a 2008 Employee Engagement Report by Blessing White

The research on employee engagement prompted me the wonder - are the points on our guages calibrated consistently? Is the standard of measurement the same for all employees, for all managers, and for all executives?

Sure, the engagement surveys define what leadership is, what alignment is, what communication is - to give consistency to these eye-of-the-beholder concepts. And, that is very important.  But, as we progress through the questions, do we maintain that defined perspective or move to our own standards?

Then an even more basic question occurred to me: do we know what we are looking for when it comes to optimal work engagement? Or, to optimal friendship engagement? Or, to any engagement with others?

How do we gauge success?
* is it according to what we invest or what we get?
* is it defined by how well others understand us or by what we learn by seeking to understand others?
* is it based on how we think we are treated or on how we think others are     
  treated?
* is it from being heard or being listened to?
* is it from what we know or what we learn?

There have been many studies over the years about significant learning events.  In the work context, leaders often say they learn the most from:
* failures
* stretch assignments
* mentors
* turnaround projects
* totally new area of responsibility (where they did not have experience or
   expertise)

And, the common reason these examples surfaced was - these situations (or mentors) helped them see things differently.  In order to be successful they had to operate differently; they learned new perspectives; they needed to recalibrate what effective leadership meant for them; the ah-ha moments came from an appreciation of how their leadership impacted others. 

What can we recalibrate in the present and learn from in the moment?  Are we setting aside time to reflect on our impact and to reassess the measure points on our guages?






Sunday, March 14, 2010

Let it Flow, Let it Flow, Let it Flow

Finding Flow by Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi is a fascinating read.  His last name is pronounced 'chick-sent-me-hi' for those who are still looking at that assortment of vowels and consonents in amazement. 

He describes flow as the time 'when a person's skills are fully involved in overcoming a challenge that is just about manageable'...'when high challenges are matched with high skills'. 

It is active, focused and we are absorbed because the task is 'just about manageable', not just a routine. 

We all have examples of when we have been in the zone, totally focused.  It is exhilarating!  While we can't expect, nor would we wish to be there all of the time, these moments are the jewels in our life tapestry. 

They can be daily or weekly activities that are wonderfully engaging or less frequent stellar accomplishments.  

How do we open ourselves to more flow?  Do we recognize and appreciate the zone moments? 

Being totally involved in a work meeting, discovering something new or solving a problem can be examples of flow moments.  Gardening, Yoga, a challenging game of tennis can also provide the optimal intersection of challenge and skill.

How do we get more flow in our lives? 

Possibly by focusing, leveraging and operating with wonder




Sunday, March 7, 2010

Creating the future - in a word

"If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there"
- Lewis Carroll

Focusing on what we want makes it much easier to see possibilities and roads to take.  Being fragmented, unclear and too open makes finding the path a lot harder, leads us into cul de sacs and takes us on circuitous journeys.

This year, I have selected one word.  Yes, just one word, to be my focus.  Well, ok, I did turn it into an acronym of sorts because I wanted it to describe my intent.  I wanted the embellishments to make it an appealing process.

The goal of this exercise is to clearly see what we want...what is important...what will bring us joy, or peace of mind, or happiness. To describe what really matters.  Focusing on this word creates our future, compels us to action, helps us see through the clutter and hear clearly amid the roar.

Choosing the word:
Stop, meditate, consider - see what word encompasses the essence of what is most prominent for you THIS year.  This word will trigger your top values, help you make choices and prioritize actions.

Using the word:
It may form the basis for affirmations.  I can be the determining factor in day-to-day decisions.  It helps us stay true to ourselves.  It provides focus.  It evokes calmess.  When we pursue it, we are centered.

This is my word and its amplification: Abundance
When I think about this word, I break it down: ABoldUNifyingDANCE.
That reminds me:
To be bold
To look for what unifies
To dance - figuratively to move with, to have fun
And, if I seek Abundance I will look back on 2010 as a year where I stepped out (boldly), sought to understand, and found new and prosperous endeavors (playfully, joyfully).

What word fulfills and defines you this year?


Sunday, February 28, 2010

Steamer Trunk, Murse or Coin Purse?

How many assumptions are we carrying with us each day - would they fit into a steamer trunk, a murse or a coin purse?


Keb' 'Mo is a great storytellerHis song, Suitcase, is playing in the background as I write - it fits. "I got a suitcase I take it everywhere I go"...

What size suitcase does it take to carry the ideas, habits, patterns, assumptions, beliefs that keep us from experiencing life with an open mind?

What would happen if we checked our bag(s) for an hour, for a conversation, for a meeting, for a discussion or in the midst of a disagreement?

Are we schlepping more than one bag? Do we need a luggage cart?

Approaching new (or repetitive) situations with an open mind is a frequent challenge personally and professionally.  Would it help leaders to be present, to actively listen if the bag(s) of preconceived ideas didn't go into the room with them? 

Back to Keb' for a moment:
"Well the house got too small
And the bags got too big
We were holding on to everything
We ever said or did..."

Perhaps we can use this image this week.  First, we can literally assess the heft we are carrying.  Then, we can opt to put the bags (or a bag) on the floor outside the door and experience a meeting or discussion with wonder and learning.  It could free up our thinking.

At least there would be a little more leg room... 






Sunday, February 21, 2010

See Yourself Working Here

Putting you in the picture with such sharp focus that the fit is obvious to everyone, especially to the new hire.
No Buyer's Remorse!


Onboarding is a popular topic. After all of the diligent work to find the right candidate, how can hiring managers get the person ensconced in the organization, on the team, into the work as quickly as possible?


There are managers who do this very well and I recently talked with one. Let’s call her Judy. I wanted to find out her tips, tricks and techniques.


Before we look at her thoughts, how did I know she exemplifies a great job of onboarding new hires? Well, she has a track record of hiring folks who excel at their work, who often move into positions of broader authority, and who give her top scores on satisfaction surveys. Current and former employees often say she is one of the best managers they have ever had: she held them accountable, gave solid feedback, encouraged them to take on stretch assignments, was demanding, supportive and accessible.


How did Judy learn this? As you might expect, she attributed much of her approach to what she had learned from others. She said that when she was starting out in business, her supervisors spent time making sure she knew what her job was, what was expected of her and how her work aligned with the team, department and company.


From day one, Judy personalized the arrival to the office area:
  • a welcome note or poster signed by the team with a theme or message that she learned in the interview (interest, hobby)

  • a group lunch on the first day with team members

  • a schedule to meet with others over the first few weeks. The people were selected to set the context of the new hire's job (colleagues, partners, other departments, end users, leaders).

  • a schedule of training or resources to learn

  • an assigned buddy who could help with the details, the questions. This carefully selected peer was a role model and integral to keeping feedback flowing to the new hire and to Judy.

  • a set meeting schedule with Judy for check-in discussions, questions from the interviews with others, etc. This routine set the ground work for working together.

  • and, a list of projects - specifically what the new hire would be working on - with milestones, timelines and end results.

It sounds simple; it isn't. It sounds important; it is.


What would you add? What tips, tricks and techniques do you use to onboard effectively?